Tea party readiness...

Okay, this post has very little to do with tea...

A couple of weekends ago, I hosted my first tea party of the year.  It wasn't really an on-purpose tea party, but a get-together in the guise of a meeting that just happened to occur at teatime.  I needed no more of an excuse to make tea sandwiches and cinnamon chip scones for three.

I love having people over and tea parties and hosting parties in general, and, in fact, any excuse to use all of my tea and entertaining things, of which I seem to have quite a bit.  But other than not having enough time to do it, which is always true, there are a couple of things that make having people over more of a challenge for me:

1)  My house is not in good enough shape.  I know, I know, most people, and friends in particular don't care what your house looks like (except for the ones that do).  But I care.  In my dreams, my house would be neat and clutter-free, which makes cleaning easier in the first place, so that when someone is coming over, it would only require a quick going over to be my standard of ready.  Instead, I either depend on my friends not noticing  (or not saying anything, or not being visibly uncomfortable) or go through a cleaning frenzy which is effective, but exhausting, before I even get to the fun part of making food or setting the table.

2)  I have so many serving pieces, tea pots, sets of china, napkin rings, and on, and on, carefully stored away that I don't remember what I have, where it is, and so don't remember to use it.  Or, I have things I consider to be "good" that go untouched, just as my mother and my grandmother before me never used them ever.

This jumble of thoughts coincided with a book coming to the top of my Hold list at the library that I'd been eager to read for some time:  the best selling book by Japanese author and de-cluttering expert Marie Kondo, The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up.  

If you look on the internet you'll find that people have feelings about this book.  Some have found it transformational, some think it's nonsense, and every opinion in-between.  On a first read, I think it provides a good framework for a task I've been wanting to do anyway.  Here are some of the key points (with some of my opinions sprinkled in):

-Be committed to tidying.  Have a reason why you want to have a tidy house and keep it that way, whether you more time in your life to do other things other than de-cluttering all the time, or you need the mental energy for something else.  Whatever it is, know what it is and why you are doing this.
-Tidy the whole house all at once, not piecemeal, not for an hour at a time, but as an on-going, marathon project until you are done.
-De-clutter by category, not by room - you don't know where duplicates are hiding until you see them all together, and if you tidy by room, chances are you are mainly moving things around, instead of truly sorting through them, and then finding a permanent home for the things you are keeping
-Discard first, and then find storage for everything.  Most likely you already have more than enough bookcases, plastic bins, etc.

-Tidy in the right order:  clothes, books, miscellany, and sentimental items.  You can create sub-categories for each of these broad categories, but follow this order which takes you from the easiest to the hardest things to deal with.
-Keep the things that "spark joy."  That phrase is a bit much for me, but my take on it is a non-judgmental one:  Keep the things you love.  Get rid of the rest.  Don't fall prey to the idea that you'll use it or wear it someday.  Likely you won't.  If you need to have multiples of things, fine, but be purposeful about it, not random.  Kondo wants you to actually pile up all of the things in one category in one place, and pick up each item to help you decide whether or not to keep it.
-It's not only beautiful things that can spark joy.  You may choose to keep things that make your life easier, have a high degree of functionality, or are useful everyday.  Be reasonable - household cleaning products are not going to spark joy, but you still need them.
-Tidying and cleaning are different things.  Tidying has to do with objects; cleaning has to do with dirt. 
-Don't keep things because someone else wants you to, because they had sentimental value at one kind, or out of obligation because someone gave it to you.  Instead, appreciate the moment of acquisition, or the sentiment behind the gift, or the generosity of the giver, and let the item go.
-Tidying is an opportunity to assess your current preferences and tastes.  Focus not on getting rid of things, but instead on keeping only things that you love, use, and want near you.
-Don't tidy/discard things that are not yours - that's rude.  Don't let others sway you to keep things you can let go of because they might want them, or for other sentimental reasons.

So, the project begins this weekend - perfect for the predicted snow accumulation.  As Kondo demands, I'll start with my clothes, including my shoes, which I have scattered in closets, bins, and drawers all over the house (I just remembered that I have two pairs of shoes at the office.  Home they come).

I'll use this space to document my progress.  I expect it to take the better part of the year.  But when it's all done, I hope to have more time and more head space to work on crafts, write tea book reviews, and have you all over for a party...